First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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