This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
