She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
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I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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