At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
