This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
