They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
