guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
