I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
