I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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