i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
