there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
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