So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
