How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
