your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
