Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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