Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
