I feel like abortions should bother me more
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
