Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
My vagina just clenched in fear
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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