omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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