Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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