Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
