idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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