i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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