He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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