I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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