her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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