I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
