im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
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