Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I can't turn off my feet"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count