Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair

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  (805): So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair http://tfl.nu/hci6
  Replies (9) Good night (1972) Bad night (634)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.

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  (617): i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good. http://tfl.nu/gykq
  Replies (116) Good night (6469) Bad night (1394)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful

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  (410): We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful http://tfl.nu/jdk0
  Replies (19) Good night (3962) Bad night (1364)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.

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  (214): I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room. http://tfl.nu/9wgv
  Replies (7) Good night (4349) Bad night (974)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.

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  (330): Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am. http://tfl.nu/jkmt
  Replies (2) Good night (2370) Bad night (911)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.

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  (919): You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad. http://tfl.nu/r24i
  Replies (12) Good night (1232) Bad night (2236)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.

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  (814): I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that. http://tfl.nu/oxuc
  Replies (3) Good night (1540) Bad night (797)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....

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  (734): Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters..... http://tfl.nu/8dbk
  Replies (5) Good night (1893) Bad night (743)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.

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  (407): don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens. http://tfl.nu/cd1z
  Replies (8) Good night (1896) Bad night (612)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.

  (1-309): View more from Illinois

  I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.

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  (309): Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment. (1-309): I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college. http://tfl.nu/zbsh
  Replies (7) Good night (1262) Bad night (610)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see

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  (651): Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see http://tfl.nu/afr3
  Replies (6) Good night (1515) Bad night (411)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.

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  (616): this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it. http://tfl.nu/xeu6
  Replies (4) Good night (976) Bad night (344)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.

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  (724): A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume. http://tfl.nu/l1hl
  Replies (1) Good night (1024) Bad night (289)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.

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  (425): He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth. http://tfl.nu/g2az
  Replies (6) Good night (355) Bad night (808)
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  (510): View more from California

  But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.

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  (510): But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming. http://tfl.nu/5mbe
  Replies (2) Good night (1063) Bad night (169)

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