The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
sick fucks of a feather flock together
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Randomize
