Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.