You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
