Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
