she kept yelling 'call me bella'
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
