You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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