Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
