Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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