Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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