Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
