The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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