Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize
