Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize