But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
