you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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