Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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