He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
