butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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