the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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