i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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