I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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