jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize