I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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