Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
