I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
