last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
