It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Terrible idea I love it
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize