fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
