He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
What drink are we having for lunch?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
