He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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