Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
