Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
