Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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