erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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