bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
