i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
