Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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