so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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