so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
