guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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